Author John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. Were both playing out the script that is in your book. What is the core of men? The Getty Images design is a trademark of Getty Images. He was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. PR.com: Like you say in the book, when a woman goes off to get a massage, for example, it is to escape all of her responsibilities. John Gray: The good thing is that women are, to a great extent, seen as equals in the workplace, and in the universities there are more women graduating than men. I think his characterizations of male and female roles are stereotyped and rigid. And estrogen doesnt cause the sexual response. Depth with edge. It could look adversarial to a bystander, but it really isnt. Easily a week could slip by and you kind of went, What happened there? What happens is it is so easy to get out of the routine, and out of the habit of it. (She persisted, not answering my question.). I dont know why you have to get another computer. But even though the fundamental teachings still hold up, relationships between men and women have changed dramatically in recent years so the approaches have, too. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. Then she was all interested in how close I came to getting hit and how understandable it was that I was late and how wonderful it was that I got home safely. I ask questions like, Is it really fair that I have to put up with this kind of abuse over and over?, I ask, Is this really the best she can do?, I ask, Is it always going to be like this.. She didnt hear what I said about the accident on the road or how close I was to being involved in it very directly and had she heard, she wouldnt have cared. PR.com: How can a couple break the cycle where anger and resentment builds up, so their sex life dies, and the lack of sex creates further tension and drives them further apart? Within a few years men were buying as many [copies] as women, once word caught on that this book is very supportive of men as well as women. And why are levels of infertility skyrocketing in women, while sexual virility is now rapidly declining in men as they reach middle age? dr john gray wife, bonnie 27 Feb. dr john gray wife, bonnie Thats what she should have done in the buying the computer scenario. He is an avid follower of his own A Feminist wrote a book called, Men Are Just Desserts. DOWNLOAD YOUR FREE CHEAT SHEET AND ACTION STEP WORKBOOK NOW. Please read our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy carefully, by using our Website, you agree that you have read and consented to our Terms of Use. Men should not show emotions unless talking to a therapist who is going to analyze and support them. We are no longer limited by the traditional roles of hunter/gatherer or breadwinner/homemaker. John Gray: The receptivity is equal. Find out as Dr. John Gray explores the masculine and feminine sexual polarities of our modern world. Three. But only in that sense. And even if I value him only for that, I value him very greatly. I think his historical grounding for those roles is preposterous. If a woman is stressed, holding space for her means hearing what she has to She will feel like she is your mother or she will shut down. Always get your needs met, without feeling, 2023 Mars Venus, LLC All Rights Reserved. She had two little children from a previous marriage, and in our first year of marriage we had a child together, so we had three daughters. But to become like a woman is not the answer. Bio, age, children, job, net worth. His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. Its a nasty job, but somebodys got to do it. Stop trying to elicit sympathy from others. These differences are reflected in our biology: our hormones and brain chemistry. The truth is [a womans] brain is eight times more active under stress than a mans, in the emotional part of the brain. Anything else, he will defend himself. The problem is that she has feelings that prevent her from having a fact-based conversation about the computer and other household needs. How can we relate to one another? Try not verbalize negative complaints to your loved ones. John Gray: I dont see it as a problem at all when women relate to men more than women. Profitieren Sie von der globalen Reichweite, datengesttzten Erkenntnissen und einem Netzwerk von ber 340.000 Content-Anbietern von Getty Images, die exklusiv fr Ihre Marke Inhalte erstellen. This is one of the reasons why relationships are the ultimate foundation of growth. Dr. John Gray. An advocate of health and optimal brain function, he also provides natural solutions for overcoming depression, anxiety and stress to support increased energy, libido, hormonal balance and better sleep. Our lives are marred by fast-paced schedules and a barrage of technology, and gender roles are no longer clearly defined, but there are simple adjustments that can be made to re-balance male and female hormonal harmony. Thats a reality that has happened to all of us. PR.com: Many people will be surprised by this information. John Gray: Its blowing everybody away. So thats how this round ends with a woman like Bonnie. Learning to deal with our emotions and stress is the key to heart health. - Dr. John Gray of @MarsVenus. Why going out of one's comfort zone through action and behavior will help raise your testosterone levels. You mentioned that for some couples when the sex drive goes away there is anger about that, but for some couples there is actually a peacefulness that sets in when the sex drive is gone. But it feels like everything we do is for you and not me. Bei kommerzieller Verwendung sowie fr verkaufsfrdernde Zwecke kontaktieren Sie bitte Ihr. Not very much time, as I recall. I mean, its great that women know theyre from Venus, but a vast majority of less enlightened men will never know theyre from Mars. . I hear all these stories of women in their sixties who get awakened and they go, Gee, I want something, and I just dont have it with my partner. When couples are getting divorced they find reasons why theyre getting divorced, but the bottom line is theyre not having sex. PR.com: Ive heard a lot of these stories from women I know; young women in their twenties and early thirties. How a woman being in her masculine all day. It gives John a chance to remember that hes supposed to be listening to her feelings, not solving her problems. "Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus" author John Gray with his wife, Bonnie, at their Hill Top Ranch on the Mendocino Coast celebrating their 27th wedding anniversary. John Gray/company John and Bonnie Gray are no ordinary couple. His Mars/Venus book series has forever changed the way men and women view their relationships. In this post, I want to look at what John Gray is supposed to dowhat his job isand at what Bonnie Gray is supposed to do. Suddenly, our lives have become so fast that now women are seeking ways to cope with stress, and some are doing it more effectively than others. Mit unserem einfachen Abonnement erhalten Sie Zugriff auf die besten Inhalte von Getty Images. Here is the resolution of the computer argument above. PR.com (Allison Kugel): Your new book, Venus On Fire, Mars On Ice, describes 100% the issues that I was having in my own relationship, and it has helped us quite a bit. It all comes back down to the hormones of passion. Well I AM upset. I chose someone who can talk about her feelings and rarely acts out without knowing or conveying why. And was also the subject of a three-hour special hosted by Barbara Walters. I got the news, on my honeymoon, that my father had died. Our community includes doctors, healers and integrative practitioners dedicated to helping you heal naturally. We dont want to do it all. For women- When you feel successful in getting the love and support they need. If we are going to spend money, there are other things we could spend it on. John Gray: Thats right. Yet, if they meet someone new and different it is easy to get it back temporarily, because new and different is a lot of challenge which stimulates dopamine, which in turn stimulates testosterone. But when a man opens up about his feelings a woman becomes even more concerned with upsetting him. Del Monte Land Tranport Bus Company (DLTB) Victory Liner, Inc. Ferries Schedule. Pretty smart of us, I think. Now, having more equality in relationships is a beautiful thing, but the problem is people have equated equality with sameness. What if the source of the problem is not treatable? Generally, a year and a half after a big emotional and unresolved situation such as divorce, child, death, job change, etc can lead to health issues if unresolved. She engages her husband as a helper and a hearer and promises her gratitude for his work when she is done. Author of Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus and his latest, Beyond Mars and Venus, Dr. John Gray, returns to share what has changed for him since his first interview on Wellness Force, how we can hold space in relationships, the four kinds of love, and how porn is hurting relationships. Two. I would be thinking, Is she going to call, or is she not going to call?. They have three grown daughters and four grandchildren. WebJohn Gray lives in Northern California with his wife, Bonnie. So Bonnie need not respond by saying Youre not listening or You just dont understand., She can say, Let me try saying that in a different way.. He would protect them and he would help fix things when they break, and he was kind of the emergency man (a term Gray refers to in his book). Very little more was expected of him. Heart. Once this is established, understanding and respecting the differences between you and your partner becomes easier, communication flows, and intimacy flourishes. I really want to understand your feelings and it really is hard for me. I have a recent example of that one. dr john gray wife, bonnie 27 Feb. dr john gray wife, bonnie Men need high testosterone. Asa bystander, I ask the kinds of questions I am going to look at in the next post in this series. WebAuthor John Gray & his wife Bonnie lying on a hammock in their backyard. (If youre looking to strengthen your current relationship or finally attract the love of your life, youre in the right place.). John Gray: Well, if you go to indigenous cultures, for example, women are rarely upset with their husbands the way that in the West we are. Estrogen is a very dominant female hormone, but if estrogen levels are out of balance and there is not enough estrogen, then the oxytocin is not as effective in lowering stress for women, so there is a relationship there. Watch Love and Health with Dr. John Gray. Millions of high-quality images, video, and music options are waiting for you. Maybe I am mad that you want so much more than me. John helps men and women better understand and respect their differences in both personal and professional relationships. Sometimes Im away for a week and when I come back its really fantastic. A side effect is that they stop being women. (This latter means, of course, that they stop being women in the way Gray thinks they ought to be.). He has been profiled in Time, Forbes, USA Today, and People. John Gray: Back in the early eighties is when I first started developing the ideas of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus. Here at MarsVenus.com, Ive teamed up with. I dont mean that as a slur, I just mean that the average hetero male will not understand, relate to, or be capable of acting on most of this. Whenever you want something, you just go out and get it. (He observes this, after a pause. Gray is not asking men to be more aware of their feelings. Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Poor me is addictive, and releases the wrong hormones. I was disappointed or frustrated key is to add emotions as opposed to statements like you dont care. But giving testosterone is not the answer, its that he is not making enough. We can even get addicted to complaining. JOIN HEART HEALTH CIRCLE with Dr. Joel Kahn. I take my cave time and she takes time to talk about things. WebBus Schedule. John and Bonnie Gray, Just Doin TheirJobs. It was men hanging out. Please contact us anytime at help@healcircle.org for any questions or to just connect and share your thoughts! My kind of therapy that I was doing is primarily educational therapy, just educating people on the differences, and that they are quite capable of making their relationships work in many instances. All rights reserved. If a guy feels guilty for taking time away, or if he just doesnt take time away, then gradually his testosterone levels get lower and lower and his interest in the relationship becomes less and less. Love what I am doing with my mission of spreading the truth about how we can live healthier, happier and longer? Its hard for her to open up and be vulnerable. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. And how can you say it is written for women when, in fact, it tells men how to get the kinds of outcomes they want? His approach combines specific communication techniques with healthy, nutritional choices that create the brain and body chemistry for lasting health, happiness and romance. If you have good human skills, youll do well in most relationships. Im here to help men and women create strong, passionate bonds that last a lifetime. If that fails, pull out the rope-a-dope, which is what he does. I just have a lot of feelings coming up. Heart disease in men is owing to low testosterone. My jobs much easier then. Whats wrong with the computer you already have? Are you serious about your health? That was good for me and it was good for her. That means women need to talk 10 times more than men to share their emotions! Im a feminist in terms of supporting women. I will just present Bonnies four responses because she is the one who gets my sympathy today. This approach asks his patience as a favor to her and promises that the barrage will be as brief as can be, still allowing time for the feelings to be expressed. John Gray lives in Northern California, where for 34 years he happily shared his life with his beautiful wife, Bonnie, until her passing in 2018. Can those of us alive today in the 21st century take a cue from our turn of the 20th century ancestors when it comes to sustaining solid marriages that dont end in divorce, re-invigorating marital sexual relations, and even aiding in fertility? Feel it and know that it is not you. When I do what John Gray says to do, everything works out really well. I was just counseling a woman today and she is a very unhappy woman because her husband is emotionally unavailable, and not affectionate. 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